The Kids Debate

Now that I'm married, I often hear the question "So when are you having kids?" To people that know me well enough, they tend not to ask the question because they know my feelings on children. To those that do ask, they are often entertained by the evil look I give them. When they question my dissonant glare, I gently remind them that I care not for children and have no plans to have any of my own.

It's not that I don't like children. Most children are decent enough. Babies are even cute. It's just the fact that I don't want to sacrifice my life for that of a child. A couple of my friends have kids (not many...yet!), and I see the sacrifice that they must make for them. And I just do not want to do that. That may be the very definition of selfish, but that's how I feel. Perhaps I will change my attitude in my 30s, but I haven't changed my opinion on this topic since I was 16, I don't see myself changing any time soon.

I have my own theories on why I do not want children (many too personal for public discourse), but mostly I think it boils down to my own childhood: While I had some problems and strife growing up, I had a pretty decent childhood. Most people have children because they want to give their children a better childhood than they had. When you had a pretty good childhood already, what reason is there to have children? I don't feel like I missed anything or didn't have an experience that I want to see my children encounter. Do I want a child to have a similar experience as I did? Sure, I had it pretty good growing up. But, I don't have a burning desire to give a child that same experience.

I will also quickly discharge the argument that because I am an educated woman, it is my "duty" to procreate. Some would argue that it is just my "duty" as a woman to have children. To those that argue the former, I give you the premise that it may be quite likely that my child is quite stupid and/or a menace to society. To those that argue the latter, you have bigger problems that I'm not willing to deal with here. There are plenty of other women quite happy to fulfill their role as doting mother, and I will happily let them accept that role.

You are all welcome to cover my house with this post if I ever announce that I am with child.